Bugger

Father Gibbon has got the bastard bike again, and he's pissing up and down the hill on it. He wrote on a piece of paper that he was going to steal eggs from Father Bradley. Father Bradley's a headcase with parrots in every fucking room. He sells the eggs to people away from the island and uses the cash down the pub. He plays pool against pregnant teenagers and fucks them over every time.

We're not allowed to speak most of the time except for 2 hours of lunch and fag breaks. Father Bradley went loopy a while ago and keeps saying COCK COCK COCK all the time. Father Gibbon on the other hand uses his talking time to good effect by phoning chat-lines and all sorts on the Bishop's phone. Father Bradley did it once but he scared the poor bastard on the other end when he kept saying COCK COCK.

I'm off to meditate now - got to do 6hrs a day of the shit. Got to think about all sorts in this place. We're Cistercian Monks. The landlords of this monastery are Hindu. That takes 6hrs to come to terms with every day. Top people, just poles apart.

HEALTHCHECK: Testicles swollen.