Filth

I'll leave talk of moving for now and concentrate on another matter:

Two nights ago I dreamt that I was clearing my body of all its shit. I was looking at my truncated body and staring into the stomach area. I could see lumps of faeces everywhere and I was told by my father that I had to remove them. So, with tongs, I pulled out lump after lump of the shit. I put them all to the side of the body, some liquid and fizzing, others solid and inert. When I'd taken every piece out, my father explained that I now needed to pour dyed water through the stomach to see if the repairs had been made properly.

I awoke soon after but the thought of the dream has been in my head ever since. I'm a bit of a sceptic in some respects, but I do feel the dream had some significance. I've probably drunk too much recently and smoked a lot for someone who still sees himself as a non-smoker. Consequently I've not been in top form physically. The dream showed me that I did need to sort out things by clearing out my system, and my father's voice added authority to that. But the lesson really is that even when I've cleaned myself out I still need to plug those holes that cause the contamination of my body through the seepage of the crap into my life. The dye (which was blue) was the final test. It was necessary to see that I'd not gone too far and left those gaps open to further contamination in future. It's one thing stopping the source of the ingress but another thing to heal and repair the underlying problems.

It 's a difficult one to put down in words, but it makes absolute sense in my own mind.

This blog isn't much fun these days...